Insecurities.

I'm not one to just come out and talk about things like this..but it has been weighing on my mind alot lately. You can think what you will, but I can only change in God's timing. I've always been the type of person that feels like she has to impress every single time she walks into a room. Maybe it is from my past with the type of person my Dad was. I don't know. But aside from that, I've always been the type of person that is worried about weather what people are saying is actually true. I've had so many fallen friendships throughout the years, which I know is natural and normal, but I believe it's made me question weather or not people are being real with me or not. I've had outstanding friendships where out friendship was on top of the world and then fall from a cliff like a rock. Some of them have picked up again, but so many have just been left in the dark. Friendships are a very huge part of my life, and anyone's life for that matter. Maybe i'm feeling this way now because so many friends are leaving home and going to do what God is calling them to do. While i'm still waiting here to hear what God really has in store for my life. People are finishing school all around me, while i'm still at home sitting in front of my computer from 9 in the morning to 2:30 in the afternoon working my butt off finishing my senior year. Maybe it's the realization that things are changing and things won't be the same they once were. Maybe it's a part of growing up that i'm afraid of and always have been. Change is scary but it has to happen for our lives to continue.