waking up.

Sorry I sort of disappeared here for about a while. Last week was pretty busy. My step-sister stayed with us for a few days and then I had a ton of babysitting. More on that later, though.

As many of you know I was working at a summer camp for the summer. I only made it halfway, because I came home during the 6th week with the swine flu. During my time at home, I had a lot of time for foggy thinking and reflecting on my first 6 weeks there. I thought I would be going back to finish out the summer, but after much thinking, I decided that it would be better to stay home because, from what I was seeing and had experienced, these people didn't have their priorities straight when it came to the health and safety of the campers and counselors. I found it very discouraging and wouldn't have been able to go back and do my job as well as I was, knowing that there was some shady business going down. So I quit.

After I made my final decision, it gave me some time to do some clear thinking [instead of foggy]. I don't think I was bitter, but it definitely left me questioning why God brought me to this camp in the first place, if He knew that it was going to end up this way. At the beginning of the summer, I know I was absolutely in the center of God's will for my life. So that was even more discouraging and it left me questioning a lot of things. I was having a lot of doubts and it was definitely a test of faith and strength in that aspect of my life. Just as I was in the middle of my doubting, my pastor started a study on the end times and prophecy. It wiped away any doubts that I had and it made me realize a lot of things. This experience was definitely a test of my faith in Jesus and it made me realize that it wasn't nearly as strong as I thought it was. Looking back, I was coasting a lot. This bible study has woken and shaken me up in ways that nothing else has ever done before.