joy in simplicity.

today was a really interesting day. i had plans to go out to lunch with my grandma for our weekly date together. yes, i go on dates with my grandma, and they are the best dates ever. well, this is where the interesting part comes in.

there's a little produce stand that has been down the street from my grandma's house for as long as i can remember. my dad used to own his own produce market when my brothers and i were younger. there was a lady who worked for him for a long time. every other weekend when my brother and i would go to my dad's we would always spend time at the market. i would help out with bagging groceries or ringing up customers, or just hang out. normally with this lady. so we got to know each other really well. i always danced around the market, because I was a ballerina, and i would always show this lady the new things i was learning. or we would just talk. i would vent my frustrations to her, and she ultimately protected me from the scary things. if any of you know my story, you know that my relationship with my dad has been rocky all of my life. she knew how ugly things could get with my dad, and would always protect me.

my dad shut down his produce market when i was about 11. 9 years ago. when he shut down his market i never saw this lady after that. well, about a year ago my dad told me that this lady was working at the produce stand right down the road from where he lives (he lives with my grandma). he said that whenever he goes in there she is always asking about me. she had seen one of my brothers quite a few times because he helped my dad with work a lot. i knew that i really wanted to see her, because she was a big part of my life when i was younger. a couple of weeks ago when i was down visiting my grandma my dad told me the hours that she was normally at the produce stand. this morning when i woke up i wanted to make a point of stopping by there to say hi on my way to pick my grandma up. by the time i got there, there wasn't enough time, so i just went and picked up my grandma. i was pretty upset, though. i figured i had blown my chance. that it was too late to see this lady after 9 years.

when i was on my way home i looked over at the stand and saw her standing there, so i had to stop. the moment i pulled in i could feel the blood pumping through my veins. i don't even know how i was walking up there. i walked in and i was looking at her and she didn't even look like i had remembered. so i started thinking "this isn't her. i may as well just turn around. i'm wasting my time." but she looked at me and i said "are you lena?" and she said "yes." i said, "do i look familiar to you?" and she said "are you...?" and said something else's name. i said "no...i'm kaitlyn" do you remember me. the look on her face. she said "oh my goodness. i can't believe it's you!" i'm not really sure what i was feeling at that moment, but whatever it was it was almost magical. this was the first time i had ever intentionally gone out of my way to see someone that i hadn't seen in a very long time. seeing this lady who i had spent countless hours with over dreadful weekends with my dad. a lady who sat there through my detailed stories at the age of eight, and protected me during some of the scariest moment of my life. it was beautiful. she said that she could still see me in her head dancing around the market and doing ballet. we stood in the middle of this little fruit stand and shared what had been going on in our lives for the past 9 years. it was crazy. the first thing i said to her once she knew it was me was "i just turned twenty last friday." almost 10 years later. amazing how time flies.

as i was leaving we both gave each other huge hugs and as i was walking to my car she yelled "i love you." i didn't know how to react at first, because i'm weird about things like that. the only people i really say those three words to are my family. i don't throw those around like a baseball. it didn't bother me, it just took me by surprise. then i turned around and we both looked and each other and then we both kind of simultaneously went back to hug each other once more. as i was pulling out to head home, she was standing there waving at me. since that visit, my heart has felt so full.

when my mom came home i was bursting at the seams to tell her about what had happened. by the end of it i was in tears. i can't tell you why. being able to see lena for the first time in almost 10 years was incredible. she was like my mom when my mom wasn't around. when i was younger going to my dad's house seemed like a death sentence for me. i would cling onto my mom's legs begging her to not make me go to my dad's. but when i was at the market having lena there just made things okay. i don't think i've ever met someone that has ever taken me under their wing like that in my life. being able to see her today has made me realize how much of an impact she had on my life, and i didn't even know it. who knows where i would be had i not had her 10 years ago.

my heart is so full. so full.
...and God is good.