here goes nothing.

I've been thinking a lot about how I would start this post, and I really have no idea how. So here goes nothing...

This summer was not what I expected at all. I guess I didn't really know what to expect in the first place, but it was way different than I could have imagined. I won't go into details, but it was a challenge from the very beginning. When I got there I had this picture in my mind that it was going to be great because it was my second year, and I knew how everything worked. But it turned out to be the opposite.

Yes, I had some really great times. Yes, I made memories that will last me a life time. Yes, I learned things about myself that I didn't know before. And I wouldn't know those things had I not gone through everything I went through this summer.

My job description for the summer was "counselor and day camp leader". I led day camp the first two weeks and counseled a grand total of five days. What did I do the remainder of the summer? Maintenance, dishes, nightwatch, lifeguarding, hosting. Was it my choice? No. Did I enjoy it? Rarely. Did I struggle more than half of the remaining 6 weeks? You betcha! Did I consider flying home early on more than one occasion? Oh yeah!

Things happened in Minnesota that I wish hadn't. Tough, life things, that made me have to hold my head up high, even when I really didn't want to.

Life happened in Minnesota, and I honestly couldn't be more grateful that it did. I had to take a step back and really look at my life from the outside in, and determine who I really was. Really figure it out. Dig deep down inside myself, and sort things out that happened in my life when I was a really little girl, all the way up to my 21 year old self.

So, I guess you could say it was a time of self-discovery. Realizing that I was stronger than I ever thought possible. If I was put in the same situation 2 years ago, I wouldn't have been able to endure it. I would have given up and gone home. What would I have learned if I had done that? Nothing. I'm not glad that it happened, but I am grateful. I also learned that I can do things on my own. Not without God of course, but without my mom.

Since being home and reflecting on the summer, I realized that this summer was a time when God came in and took something hard to endure, and just turned it around for His glory. Through the things that I learned about myself over the summer, I know I'm completely different than when I left in May. In more ways than one...

This doesn't mean that I'm done learning, though. This event could very well be something that I could learn from for the rest of my life, and if that's the case, I'd love to keep learning!