Christmas.

This Christmas was one of the most memorable that I have ever had. It was my Grandma's last Christmas with us and it was hanging over our heads the whole entire time. Our whole family was together for the first time since I can't even remember. My cousin and aunt set aside their differences and were able to be in the same together all for my Grandma. My uncle that never comes around for family functions anymore was even there. I hadn't seen him for more than five seconds in a very very long time. We did a White Elephant gift exchange and it was one of the most hilarious things I have ever been through. From the mens underwear repair kit, to the mullet shampoo, to the chia pet, everything was just perfect. It really opened my eyes a lot to the meaning of Christmas. I've always known why I celebrated Christmas, but never really focused on it. I'm going to be completely honest, I didn't reflect on it a lot on Christmas. I have a hard time processing things when there is so much chaos around me. I do better with thinking and reflecting once I get the opportunity to get away from people and the festivities. As I sit here typing this, it is 9:09 two days after Christmas. Things are finally starting to die down after a chaotic and busy week, and I have finally had the time to process what happened on Christmas. Thousands of years ago and two days ago. After we finished the white elephant gift exchange my Grandma was handing out cards for everyone and each one had money in it. After we all opened them we all got up to give her a hug and tell them thank you. As everyone was going she started getting teary and it got harder and harder for me to sit in that room. I'm really private about what emotions I show to people and I sat there, because I knew I didn't need to leave the room. I knew I needed to stay sitting there. My aunt was crying on my uncles shoulder and I sat there as the tears were falling down my cheeks. But something about that was so special. Why should I hide my emotions from my family when we are all going through the same thing? This past year i've realized how important family is and how much I need them. But also how much I need to lean on God, not just through the tough times, but also through the good times, too. This next year I really look forward to what God has to teach me.