Friday, July 27, 2012

part one: how do you say thank you?

Sophomore band banquet, 2006.

I was just a 16 year old girl, newly taken out of public school, and beginning an adventure down the homeschooling road. I was a typical teenager trying to find her place amongst her friends, trying to figure out how this whole "high school" thing really worked. I'd just come out of a really rough summer where my childhood friends ditched me, my high school friends didn't want to be around me, and I ended up sitting at home for the entire summer, while working and spending copious amounts of time with my Mom. Every sixteen year old's dream, right? Right...

During the first month and a half of my junior year of high school, while I was still in public school, I felt so lonely. I would run into the people who were my friends just a few short months before, and I couldn't talk to them. I'd wait in the lunch line, see them laughing together, they'd look at me and immediately look away and go on with their conversation. It wasn't just the lunch line, though. We were in colorguard together (the girls who march with the marching band and spin flags, rifles and sabres). What was once us laughing and goofing off together, turned into me watching from across the room as they accepted other friends into their circle as I was pushed further and further away. 

It was in late September that I began my online virtual home schooling. I was still able to be a part of colorguard. It was hard to be at home all day long, but it was always nice to get a break and go to colorguard practice and do something I loved. It made me happy to just be away from my house, even if I still wasn't really talking to my old friends. 

During this time, I was going to my church's youth group, but wasn't really engaged. But I kept going because I enjoyed being around the other people who went, I liked the youth leaders, it was an opportunity to get out of the house. That was about it, though. 

Something strange started happening shortly after I started spending my days at home in front of a computer screen. Youth group became much more than just another place to hang out with my friends. I started paying attention to what my youth leaders were talking about, my pastors words on Sunday morning were being spoken directly to my heart, I found myself becoming more involved with my church, I was beginning to enjoy meeting other people outside of my little youth group bubble. These people were kind. They were approachable. They were loving me. All of the things that I was feeling in my heart began clicking in my head. Every Sunday morning it felt as though the Lord were speaking to me personally. Like he was sitting right next to me. I would sit in my chair frozen, my eyes locked on my pastor, taking in every word that he spoke, letting the Holy Spirit fill me up (Although, I didn't know it was the holy spirit at the time). I started wondering things that I'd never wondered before. Am I saved? Am I a Christian? Was I ever baptized? These were just questions that I kept to myself, though.

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There was a concert coming up that the youth leaders had been talking about for weeks. I figured it would be a good time, I liked music okay, so I decided to go. It was Saturday November 11, 2006. We all met at the church, were assigned our cars, loaded up and departed for our 45 minute drive down to West Palm Beach, FL. I was riding with my youth leader, Ron, and friends from youth group. They were chatting about who they were most excited to see, naming off these obscure band names and all I could say was, "I'm excited to see Barlow Girl!" Then Ron said, "I think Third Day is going to be great!" I shyly said, "I don't know who they are." It was almost as though the worst possible string of curse words had just flown out of my mouth and hit them all right in the forehead. They all said, "I'm sure you've heard their music before, but just don't realize it." "We sing some of these songs in church!" I'm thinking, "Yeah, yeah, sure...okay."

We arrive at Cruzan Amphitheater and everyone is so excited about what fun we are going to have at Wayfest! We all walked around for a lot of the day, visiting booths, listening to the no-name bands in the background. Who am I kidding? They all had no name to me! This whole Christian music thing was a new world to me. I didn't even know Christian bands existed, aside from those old, gray haired men who wrote the worship music that we sang along to in our church services. Anyway, my friend David and his brother Nathan started talking about this band they they wanted to see play on the small stage. They said, "We have to go see downhere play. They're awesome!" We all said, "What? Where?" Nathan said again, "Downhere! They're a band! They're really awesome!" I didn't know anything, so I was very agreeable and decided that I wanted to go see the down under's. We all headed over, and waited for these people, whoever they were, to come out on stage and play some music. The time finally arrived and they stepped out onto stage. They opened their set with "We Will Rock You" by Queen. I especially liked that, since the marching band show that I'd just finished was a Queen show, so I at least knew one song that they were singing. Their music was enjoyable, but what really caught my attention was this song about rock star's not being able to live on bologna sandwiches, or something strange like that. Everyone was jumping around, clapping, cheering, tossing their beach balls around in the air. These two men from the audience ran up to the stage waving dollar bills in front of the lead singer that kind of sounded like a woman when he sang, but sounded strangely like Freddie Mercury. He politely turned them down and kept on with the song. Man, that song sure was catchy! They played a few more songs, and I learned that they were from Canada. They had an array of jokes for us silly Floridians about their band name and being "down here" in Florida. Their set came to an end, and we all decided then would be a good time to go get our seats for the rest of the evening at the main stage.

Some guy named Matthew West came up first. His music was fine, he was kind of funny, but I was so ready to see those Barlow Girls. They were the whole reason why I came to this concert anyway! Matthew sang and sang, told his silly jokes, made up songs about Florida. Then...FINALLY! Barlow Girl took the stage. I sang along to the songs I knew, was quiet and listening during the songs I didn't know. It was in those moments that my heart was finally able to rest. In all the excitement that had been taking place throughout the day, my mind was racing a million miles a minute. The Lord had brought me to this place, on this particular day for a reason. 

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I've decided to do this in installments. It's taking me longer to write than I thought it would, and has turned into something very personal. I want to make sure I get it right. Hope you enjoy!

2 comments:

  1. This post has made me go "Awww!" and made me giggle several times. Can't wait for the rest!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "the down unders" :)
    Look forward to the rest of the story!

    ReplyDelete

comments make me smile. :)